Why can’t my parents just trust me for once? I don’t do drugs, smoke, or even drink and I don’t intend to. I don’t understand why they’re SO fucking strict on me. For example, I can’t go out unless my Dad is there to watch me from a distance. I know, I know they’re just trying to protect me..but I need some room to grow up. What’s so wrong with hanging out with a couple of friends? I don’t hang out with the kids who are bad influences..and if they are I make sure they don’t do any of that stuff around me. I just want them to see I’m old enough to know the good from bad. I just want a little more freedom. Is that really too much to ask?

I mean I was cool with him and everything , but OHHH MY GOSHH I just wanted to punch him in the face when he thought he could get inside my pants. So on the very last day 2 hours before the concert we were in a practice room right? I was dressed in a white heart tube top lacy dress , my hair was curled, smokey eyes, and high heels. He was in gym shorts and a grey v-neck.To get a mental image of what he looks like he’s maybe close to 6foot, brunette flippy hair, he kind of had a beard (growing it out),big greenish-hazel eyes, and a nice body frame.So yes for a guy he was pretty attractive, but most likely a womanizer. Anyways back to the story he was too lazy to get ready that early so he was just playing his instrument while I sat there bored af. I asked him if I could play his games on his iphone since he usually would let me. He walked over to me and said “No. You have to earn it.” I was a bit shocked since he never said no to me. I grinned “Okay..how do I earn it? Do you want a hug?” He had a tiny smirk on his face and stood really close to me. I felt uncomfortable so I took a few steps back. He didn’t care and wrapped his arm around my waist while his other hand pushed my chin up(since he’s a lot taller than me ) and stared straight into my eyes ”Hmm..a little more than that..” I could tell by the look in his eyes he wanted a kiss..and more..  I pushed his hand away from my face and pretended to not know what it meant because honestly I felt SOO AWKWARD , but I played it off cooly and told him “Ahah kiddo do you want me to paint your nails or some shit?” and gave him a quick hug.

 ”No of course not..I want another hug from a pretty girl.”

“Oh really? Well I’ll get my friend to hug you.”

“No…I was thinking more of someone like you.”

“Okay you get another hug but you have to let me play with your phone..I already gave you a hug silly.”

I gave him a hug but this time he didn’t let go. He pulled me even closer to his body with his phone behind his back..bad idea because I could feel something that I shouldn’t against my lower body. I tried to make it less weird by making everything into a game of “Get the phone away from the horny ass-hole that’s trying to get too far with me.” so I reach for his phone, but that didn’t work out since he just held it up high. He started to pulled me to a dark corner, that’s when I started freaking out a little since his grip got tighter around my waist,his hand started to slide lower and he grabbed my wrist so I couldn’t go anywhere. I started whining really loud and my other friend finally showed up. He reluctantly lets go of me while I ran over to my other friend.He asked me “Hey Lyly..what’s going on in here?”

“He won’t let me play with his phone. I was trying to get it!”

“Ohh do you want to walk around with me? I’m really bored and there’s nothing to do.”

“Sure why not?”

The three of us walked around the campus several time until I got tired of walking and started to write on the “Jazz wall.” I wanted to write my name at the very top, but could barely reach it even with my heels. So he decided to go up behind me,grab my waist and carry me up the wall to make sure I could reach it. Yeah..he was trying to show off his muscles…or to impress me..Okay..so knowing me I freak out when someone is behind me so I grabbed onto the wall and screamed at him to let me down. The two just started laughing and teasing me about how dorky I am. I just rolled my eyes and continued to write on the wall. The two were doing stupid stuff behind me like dancing and doing sexual stuff , but I ignored since I didn’t care because I got used to it. Well nothing really interesting happened until after the show when he started to text me. He said “To earn my phone you had to kiss me” Wow really? No dip sherlock. I replied

“Oh well what the hell? What kind of girl do you think I am I don’t kiss guys unless I’m dating them!”

“Whatever.Honestly I’m kind of a man ho.. I bet I could have easily made you do whatever I want.(;”

“Um..no. LOLOL Thanks for admitting to me you’re a man ho. Ok to make sure we get this straight. Just because I look like an easy slutty cute asian girl doesn’t mean shit. When it comes to guys I’m strict as fuck.”

“So? I don’t care. I just want to have fun..don’t you? Lyly, I could have easily gotten you on my lap haha.”

“Ohh wow you’re one cocky ass mother fucker.  No you couldn’t . I like to have fun but not that kind of fun.”

 So pretty much long story short he found out that I’m not who he thought I was. Horrible way to end this story but I’m too lazy to type anymore LMFAOUOA. More stuff happened at Jazz camp but I was too lazy to add them to the story sooo if you want to hear the full thing with details just call/ skype me. <3

They are willing to offer me a full scholarship to a camp because they see that I have the so much potential to become an orchestra director…I don’t know why, but I lost my passion for music. Maybe it’s just high school that changed everything. But when I go back to the camps..or study with my old teachers that urge to become the best I can be starts coming back…Maybe it’s just when I’m in a classroom environment with competition is when that old me starts coming back. I mean..ever since 7th grade I’ve always loved music and my old conductor and jazz conductor always supported me to continue to chase my dream..but ever since I hit high school…it all changed..I don’t know..I’m just so confused. I don’t want to let my teachers down..

Sorry if I sound bitchy to anyone. :/ 

Sure I can’t talk to you 24/7 , but that doesn’t mean you have to pull the guilt trick on me. Like wtf? What kind of friend does that? I’m not your girl so stop treating me like you own me. I’m getting tired of that bullcrap. 

I wasted my time on you for NOTHING. I waited for you and did everything I could just to make you happy, but no you decide to blow me off for some other guy? Whatever I don’t need someone like you. It’s funny how you think I’m going to wait for you. xD